What happens when you insert metal pins through your taint and attach them to a rope, all in order to pull a car for your friends? A wicked awesome time, that’s what!

You haven't had teriyaki until you have tried a spiced alligator tail. Delicious! Excuse us, we need to hit the reset button. (Shoves finger into throat)

So this is what those orcs from Lord of The Rings do in their spare time. That’s a lot of love to take in. If you look close, you can see one of their "One Rings" Eww!

Quato, the talking fetus from Total Recall has FINALLY found new work! Thank God, watch him this fall on Fox, your home for quality entertainment.

"OK so get this officer, I was chasing a burglar out of my house, right? Then my pants just shot off into the street and he pulled out a gun, I got scared and I..."

I imagine this is what it's like when you reach the pearly gates. So close to perfection, but just far enough away to be out of reach. Oh, to dream.

Not so smug anymore, are you France? This girl did not receive the gold in "bladder control".

There is so much sex oozing from this image. Don’t stare for too long, you will be overcome by hormones.

I would like to see one of the baggers ask if you needed help out to your car, as you were trying on your new plastic shirt.

...Gotta scratch it... THERE! Got it!

...Just to use as a comparison to Perez's version, and to those Yogis. Gross"

A former Walmart employee bought these Chinese-made flip flops and later got a chemical burn from the plastic strap. Now Walmart's giving her a horrible time about it! WTF!

Blogger Perez Hilton succeeded in making Britney Spears look sexy and fit by comparison when he paraded hit fat ass around in a pink wig, flip flops, and a Cheetos bag. He even out-crotched her.

Pop star Pink peed in public and a pap popped the pic. Padow!

"Don't you like how your skin looks like a fleshy condom over my hard horn, baby? Yeaah, this is Pamplona, baby, don't I make you horny?"

Sisley's new controversial ad campaign features skinny models with their eyes rolled back, snorting "lines" off a white dress. Apparently spelling "fashion" like "heroin" is also chic, now.

This is a shot from an upcoming workout video starring Lisa Rinna. The perfect gift for aging cougars who need a boost to their physical self-esteem.

Jack Nicholson is not one to let the young, hot, vacationing starlets get all the spotlight; he wants the tabs to get a load of his bikini body too!

This guy is so proud of all the weight he's lost, that he gladly suffocates passers-by with his massive stomach skin. Tuck THAT!

Note to self: Next time, don't eat massive bean 'n' cheese burrito before bungee jump. Got it.