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When we first saw this picture of Mad Men star Christina Hendricks on the cover of New York magazine two things immediatly came to our mind: 1) This is the perfect women and 2) We will never have a shot at her because she obviously marries ugly douchebags, of which we are not because we were born with the handsome gene (this is a total lie. Everyone who works at LG is pretty much the ugliest person on the planet and if one of us were to come face to face with Mrs. Booby Hendricks, she would surely vomit into our mouths.).

And this is who's banging/married to Christina. I know! He's some actor I guess, and not even a famous one! His name is Geoffrey Arend and he looks sickly, like he might die at any minute.


How to seduced Santa Claus:
1. Wear a belly shirt
2. Play him a song on the saxophone
3. Tell him that the saxophone fits in your butt.
This holiday season Santa Claus totally wants to drop bombs on all the little boys and girls. Help him make this happen.

For some reason a box of Sprinkles Cupcakes, Mrs. Fields Cookies, and some leftover Halloween cookies were sitting on an empty desk inside LG Headquarters. So was a bottle of the weightloss drug Zantrex (we have no idea how that got there...perhaps somebody is sending us a message? Collectively, the company only weights 50000 billion pounds so I don't what that message can be). Anyway, thought we'd open up an LG store to give some of this stuff away (except the Zantrex!). If you'd like any of these things please let us know. Or if you have any other questions or complaints. Our email talkback@liquidgeneration.com!
Yes, we're not going to lie. We're going to go see Twilight just like everybody else is. However, we're buying up the 50 seats surrounding us because we don't want to sit next to the people in the videos below. It's not that we find them so annoying, we just don't want to share our tissues with them! (Just kidding! (j/k again!) (j/k!) (no really, j/k!)
The Nutty Madam
The Chubster Spazzes
If you have big boobs, you might need to put something between them that gives them support. It's a great, totally sexy idea! Not really!
Brr, it’s cold in here, there must be some boobies in the atmosphere! It’s almost Christmas folks, so let’s dig our Claus into some famous frozen ta-tas!
Mrs. Claus sings about how the bad economy is going to ruin Christmas. Santa's house was foreclosed!
Santa knows when you are good or bad and he likes the later most. In fact, tie yourself up and put these cuffs on, Santa Claus is coming to town.
In theaters 6-28-08. The “July 20 Plot” on Hitler’s life is one of the most heroic but least known episodes of World War Two. Severely wounded in combat, Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg returns from Africa to join the German Resistance and help create Operation Valkyrie, the complex plan that will allow a shadow government to replace Hitler’s once he is dead.
In theaters 12-21-07. Based on the hit Broadway musical which tells the infamous story of Benjamin Barker, a.k.a Sweeney Todd, who sets up a barber shop down in London which is the basis for a sinister partnership with his fellow tenant, Mrs. Lovett.
These images of Mrs. Smith where released today accompanying claims she was nearly dead, covered in her own vomit, when they were taken.
In theaters 11-9-07. Fred Claus has lived almost his entire life in his little brother’s very large shadow. Fred tried, but he could never live up to the example set by the younger Nicholas, who was just a perfect, well, Saint. True to form, Nicholas grew up to be the model of giving, while Fred became the polar opposite: a repo man who then steals what he repossesses.
Diana Ross thought that no one would recognize her without makeup. Unfortunately an old woman died of a heart attack when she mistook Mrs. Ross for Death.
Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!
Britney was caught in a paparazzi mêlée on her way to the gym while she inexplicably sported a white towel wrapped on her face. Why in the world would she be wearing said towel in such a fashion? To pretend she's Santa Claus, that's why, Silly!
Santa Clause returns this year with a slightly different image – not he's straight gangster! Looks like Christmas at Tony Soprano's house!
See Santa Claus do HIS version of the infamous Michael Richards racist meltdown. Ho-ho-horrifyingly offensive!
People make fun of us because we like dirty tatas. We can’t help it if all the celebrities out there are skanks.