You know, we've never been a model before (because we're TOO GOOD-LOOKING), but we just know that if our only job in life was to look pretty and walk, we'd perfect the crap out of that. Really.  How hard is it to walk? Looking pretty you're born with, so that's in the bag. Walking - you do that since birth and to do it professionally should only take a few weeks, tops. That's why we don't understand when a model on a TV show fails miserable NOT ONCE but TWICE during her walk down the runway. She even takes a smack in the head by a swinging pendulum (wtf?). IT JUST MAKES US LOSE HOPE IN THE WORLD, YOU GUYS.

Your Penance for coming to this website: Say 10 Hail Marys, 4 Our Fathers and bow to Lindsay Lohan's boobs.

It's Fat Friday again, where the LG Animators’ go out to lunch and consume the most amount of fat and calories as we possibly can. It’s all about getting hungry and attacking fast food joints. Maybe even get kicked out of a few because people hate our “Get Out or Pig Out,” Eat, Sleep, Draw” and “Love, Peace and Taco Grease” T-shirts. We like being cheesy, because we like cheese. In fact, this Friday I won't rest until I get my fix of cheese. The combination of turkey, cheese, fries and delicious Rottweiler has put me over the edge to eat!

Also! The LG store is back! Since we announced the LG store back in November, we have added even more sugar and more cholesterol. Now we have bags of bite size brownies, cookies, and Pixy Stix. They have raised our blood sugar level quickly, causing a cheap thrill sugar rush. Maybe they will keep us from going hungry for a couple weeks. We also got a new bottle of diet pills Zantrex, because bulimia and anorexia is just not cutting it.

Fat Friday Pro Tip: Just eat it! You're already fat!

When we first saw this picture of Mad Men star Christina Hendricks on the cover of New York magazine two things immediatly came to our mind: 1) This is the perfect women and 2) We will never have a shot at her because she obviously marries ugly douchebags, of which we are not because we were born with the handsome gene (this is a total lie. Everyone who works at LG is pretty much the ugliest person on the planet and if one of us were to come face to face with Mrs. Booby Hendricks, she would surely vomit into our mouths.).

And this is who's banging/married to Christina. I know! He's some actor I guess, and not even a famous one! His name is Geoffrey Arend and he looks sickly, like he might die at any minute.

Hey, it's me again. LiquidGeneration's illustrator and functioning illiterate. Hola!

So I came across this weird website, ChatRoulette.com. It's a website that connects you instantly with a random stranger. Only you don't just chat, you interact with webcam and audio (you have the option to turn these off, but I never do because I like being creepy). Sounds exciting, right?

I ran some numbers on the site because I like math. The average age of the people chatting is about 20-years-old, though I did see a couple of kids and a man with a beard so long and gray he reminded me of Santa (my hero!).

The gender ratio is really imbalanced. For every 20 guys there is 1 girl (and even a couple girls that are really dudes). Most of the people are just guys with a frowned faces looking pathetic and depressing. It depressed me even just looking at them for half a second.

There are some girls, however most of them are too ugly to get a date.  Then there are the mixed groups of guys and girls sitting at the computer together, which I guess is a little better than sitting there by yourself looking like a serial killer.

If people don't want to show their faces, they usually put signs up in place of themselves. They write things like "Tits or GTFO." I even saw a teddy bear wearing dark shades with a note that read "Cure My Blindness, Show Your Tits." So I did, even though mine are really small. The most shocking sign was "Show Tits for Haiti." I didn't do this because that would be wrong. And again, my boobs are really small and mannish so what would be the point? I'm not on the internet to upset people.

One of the more disappointing moments came when I chatted with a guy for a whole minute. I asked him to make a peace sign because I wanted to see if he'd follow my commands like a monkey, but he just smirked, flipped me off and disconnected!  

So go ahead, talk to strangers! It's fun!

Also! Here are my statistics for approximately 100 chats I had on ChatRoulette these past two days. "Others" consist of pets, stuffed animals and drugs. Yes, somebody wanted me to talk to their bong.

And just so you get a sense of the type of people going to ChatRoulette, her are some of our favs that we found during our chat sesh:

He's going to snipe your penis! Watch out!

NBA superstar look alike Yao Ming! :p

i wish they all could be California girls.

So here at LiquidGeneration, we kind of have an open porn policy when it comes to looking at dirty things on the internet. I mean, somebody has to find the boobs for Whoose Boobs, and sometimes when browsing the interwebs for breasteses, you run into naked things, and sometimes those naked things are doing wrong things. Very wrong things. But! LG isn't your normal work environment. Most of you are sitting in a cubicle right now pretending to work on really serious things. We feel sorry for you. In fact, some of you are so bored that you're looking at naked things on the internet, and that's ok! Really! As long as you don't get caught by your boss or the HR department. Or if you don't get caught on national TV like a total asshat, like this guy.

Update: Apparently this guy is on leave this week from work. He might be fired, you guys! There's already an online campaign to save his job.

Mad Men's Christina Hendricks is probably the most important women in showbiz. Her national treasures (BOOBS, FYI) should be protected by the government forever. Also, her husband should be killed so we could marry her. It would be nice, just sayin'. Wouldn't you agree?

(via The Superficial)

Didn't really know Portman was into lesbians, but whatevs. ALWAYS NICE TO KNOW.

Nine days and nine hours from the time that I am writing this, Meat Week 2010 will begin.

What is Meat Week? Well, it is a week (technically 8 days) of eating BBQ. Sounds delicious right?

Meat is delicious, and at it's core, Meat Week is a pure and innocent celebration of slow cooked animal flesh, but I must warn you, before you run headlong into Meat Week be sure you know what you are in for. Things are not always Sonny's in the Meat Week universe.

Just like joining Skull & Bones (all my information about Skull & Bones is from the movie staring Joshua Jackson and Craig T. Nelson), there is a dark and shady undercurrent, darker than a good ketchup based BBQ sauce. By participating in Meat Week, you are joining a club, a secret sauce society. You may as well be joining the Meat & Bones.

I can't say much more without risking my own life, but just consider yourself warned. Beyond the obvious dangers of cholesterol intake... there is... I best say no more. Not a word. Not a peep. Not an utterance more against Meat Week.

Pictured here: Founders of Meat Week, Erni Walker and Chris Cantey

I just finished reading the January / February issue of M Magazine cover to cover. Along the way I discovered so many crazy secrets that had me going OMG 4 DAYZ and LOLZING all over the place.

I found that there is a famous kid named BooBoo, Miley Cyrus and her grandma are actually twins (the details as to what kind of time travel or cryogenic freezing was involved are hazy), Kim Kardashian loves big juicy hotdogs, and only Taylor Swift's brother Austin knows that she has a Britney Spears poster hanging in her bathroom! Oops! I just spilled that! OMG now EVERYONE KNOWS!

Don't think for a second that I didn't find some things out about myself, too. I learned that, as a middle child, I am "a total peacemaker who can solve fights that break out (solving fights is harder than solving puzzles)," and I also found out that I am going to catch my crush with sweetness and by not being in the middle of "drama-rama."

With every page turned, I found something more and more amazing, and on the last page, I discovered my favorite section of M Magazine. No SILLY! Not the end! OMG I totes never wanted to finish reading! No, I found the M Comics section!

The M Comics section is soooooo nutz! Demi ate some pizza and then, and then she, she farted in Frankie's face playing Twister! Yeah! He totally got "fart bombed!" Then, then you won't believe it! Noah and Frankie silly stringed "Niley" right when they are about to kiss! I almost died TOTES LOLZ OMG. The "lil sibs do rule!"

Now that I am done with this issue, I guess I will just have to follow @M_Magazine on Twitter to stay up to date on all my celeb gossip until next month's issue comes out!

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration this week.

As part of my research of pop culture, I signed up for a website called Buzznet.

Everything was going great on Buzznet. I was making friends with hundreds of cute scene girls from ALL OVER THE WORLD, scene girls like Kaitlyn Snow, from Estonia. I was learning about hip new pop culture like the upcoming Twilight graphic novel. You know, for the people that don't want to read all the words, but don't like moving picture shows. I even found out the name of My Chemical Romance's lead singer: it's Gerard.

BUT THEN! I came across Sam VIP, and I had my breath taken away... far far away.

Based on everything I have learned about pop culture in the last couple of weeks, I am pretty sure that Sam VIP will soon be the next big thing. She is like a combination between Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, and Claire Danes.

Am I RIGHT? This girl is special!  She is a special girl... really special.

Well, we say Guidos. The description says "Extended Italian Family." We just bet the mob is happy that some of the pressure of being a bunch of silly morons is taken away from them a bit. And if the TV show Lost looked like this, we bet it would get more viewers, too. Watching Italian people is just funny.  Lost premieres next week. Get excited.

Very rarely do I ever have any serious desire to meet celebrities. This is partly because, like I pointed out before, I am pretty out of touch with pop culture, and partly because I have met a bunch of celebrities. Most of the time, they are very disappointing - douches.

Sitting here in my coffice (coffee shop + office) next to the Gaming Club (they play board games here twice a week) I don't feel too Hollywood, though I guess I am... since I live in Hollywood. But, I didn't move out here because it was my dream to hang out with Paris Hilton or pal around with Wilmer "Yo Mama" Valderama. These Gaming Club guys can get a little rowdy, but I can tell you from experience, they are much less annoying to be in the same room with than the Valderama.

This said, I have to admit that every once in a while I hear enough about a famous person that I actually want to meet them, to see what they are really like.

I have been feeling this way about Lady Gaga for a while now for a couple of reasons. First, she kind of reminds me of my week long high school ex-girlfriend Larkin Grimm (a weirdo musician in her own right) and a couple of other girl friends (friends that are girls). This feeling of familiarity is all about her general craziness and desire to dress to impress or offend. Second, she kind of looks like my old boss Suzie from Liberty Curio, a junk shop that I worked at selling junk on Ebay and Craigslist.

Recently (30 minutes ago after I read her Wikipedia entry), I started to feel a desire to meet Ke$ha too. I don't know how much of her Wikipedia entry is true, but she had me at "breaking into Prince's house." Anyone crazy enough to enter Prince's domain uninvited... wow. Throwing up in Paris Hilton's closet is pretty cool too. Plus, she is hot, really hot, and like me and Lady Gaga, she likes to hang out in her undies.

I know I said I don't like blondes in my post about Chuckota (super celebrity couple Chuck McCarthy and Dakota Fanning), but I am pretty sure that neither Ke$ha nor Lady Gaga are real blondes. Moreover, I just want to meet them, get to know them. Dating is a long way down the road. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I might hate both of them in real life.

Anyway, I decided that I am going to try to meet and hang out with Lady Gaga and Ke$ha. This is where living in Hollywood comes in handy. I am fairly confident that I can track them down. Los Angeles is big, but not that big.

I already found both of their Myspace profiles, and friended them. I hope they accept. Lady Gaga was online when I sent her the request, so maybe she will get back to me soon!

Let me know if you have any advice... or if you are Ke$ha or Lady Gaga, let's hang.

In what can only be described as pure Bonage Day at LiquidGeneration, we just received these photos of Heidi Montag. THEY ARE NOT EXCLUSVIE BUT THEY ARE PRETTY DARN SEXY, DEFINTELY SEXIER THAN JESSICA SIMPSON. WHO CARES ABOUT HER ANYWAY.

How much plastic surgery has she gotten? Supposedly over 10 surgeries in one sitting. But who cares about the details because the details are in her boobs. and everything else about her. We don't care that Spencer has turned her lower love-making extremities into a disaster area either. Sorry we sound like 12-year-olds right now, but really, just look at her.

And while we have your attention, Haiti needs your help. Do it for Heidi.

This baby is smart. We always fall for the "lady" with the nice boobs. 

Digging deeper and deeper into M Magazine, it didn't take me long to discover that I wasn't as out of touch as I had initially thought. On page 13, not only did I find out that Taylor and Taylor are both a little unsure about dating someone named Taylor, but I also found out that M Magazine readers are interested in being in the last Twilight movie, something I had blogged about 4-5 months ago.
M Magazine doesn't just pose the question though, they answer it.

"Can you be in the last Twilight movie?"

M Magazine's answer? "Yes."

I immediately started taking their advice. I went to ExploreTalent.com. Though there were no actual casting call listings for Twilight: Breaking Dawn, and it seems like a sight completely based on exploiting dreams to identify a certain marketing demographic, I signed up. I also started reading Breaking Dawn for the 9th time, as suggested, and I started really trying to be myself, as suggested.

One of their pieces of advice did seem to be a little bit of a no-brainer: "Try not to act super-duper bubbly or overly eager."

Duh! The only super-duper bubbly vampire in the Twilight series is Alice. Do I look like Alice?

I am Chuck McCarthy or Charles McCarthy.

There are lots of Chuck McCarthy's in the world, but one in particular really has me in a fighting mood. What Chuck? The retired MMA fighter Charles/Chuck "Chainsaw" McCarthy.

Sure, I dominate Google searches for "Chuck McCarthy" but if you search "Charles McCarthy" this joker's Wikipedia entry is the first listing to come up. This pisses me off for a few reasons. One, I have probably played a more important role in the history of MMA in the United States than him (I refuse to back this statement up with any facts). Two, I don't have a Wikipedia entry. I've been on TV, on the radio, in magazines, and I've definitely been on the Internet... a LOT. Three, I am bigger and proabably tougher than this... this "Chainsaw." Four, where is my cool nickname? Don't I deserve a cool nickname? Haven't I at least earned that?

What am I going to do?

I can't fight Wikipedia. I can't fight Google. Well, I could, but not with my fists... and I don't think winning either of these fights would garner me a tough guy nickname like "Chainsaw."

What am I going to do?

An open letter to Charles "Chainsaw" McCarthy:

Dear Charles,

Charles "Chainsaw" McCarthy! I'm calling you out! I dare you to come out of retirement for one last fight against me for the rights to your Wikipedia entry, Google listing dominance, and nickname!

Obviously we will both need to get back in shape and train for a couple of months. I will probably try to get Forest Griffin to train me. I guess you can train with your old trainer, or maybe Mr. T can train you.

Our training could be covered like the HBO series 24/7 - Chuck vs. Chuck 24/7.  People are going to get pumped over our grudge match, especially Conan O'Brien, Notre Dame fans, Chuck Norris fans, and fans of NBC's Chuck.

So you aren't in the fighting mood anymore, but come on Chuck, are you really happy sitting at home in Florida, playing C.O.D. and getting BJs from your 19 year old stripper girlfriend? There has to be more to life than that... Don't get me wrong, that does sound pretty good, but don't tell me you don't miss the thrill of the fight. Yeah, I know she probably does it while you are playing and talking smack on your "headset" to Kimbo Slice about "head shots", but doesn't the OCTAGON call to you still?

One more fight... come on girly boy.

Sincerely,

Chuck "Soon to be Chainsaw" McCarthy

P.S. We shouldn't let the fact that we both look great with our shirts off go to waste.

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

You can never underestimate a fat kid's ability to dance. Never.

If there's any way to start off the year and first week back from vacation, it's with Hayden Panettiere's butt. Legend has it that if you touch Hayden's behind with your finger and make her giggle, you'll recieve good luck for the rest of the year! Now smudge up that computer screen of yours!

See more of Hayden's behind at IDontLikeyouInThatWay.

(Be safe this New Year)

Things are going to be a little slow around here till the end of the New Year until we're done drinking and being annoyed by our families. So you might as well take a look through our archives, play some old games, watch some cartoons and generally reflect on the decade through what we made for you. We've covered it all -- Britney, Tom Cruise, Lindsay Lohan, Britney and Britney and Britney and Britney and Britney. Yes, we've basically just made from of Britney this decade. But it was fun!

We might periodically update the blog throughout the week if we run into anything exciting, so check back if you're bored or you've run out of alcohol!