Dude, what a dick move. All these drunkies wanted to do was take a little cinnamon challenge and the guy filming this had to replace one of their table spoons of cinnamon with cayenne pepper. RETRIBUTION, it will be the hotties.

We sweat and swear and drink Mountain Dew and Red Bull every time we FARMVILLE!

Enjoy tonight's Jersey Shore finale by partying with some of these guidotastic animated gifs. If you get them drunk they'll totally blow out your hair and defrag your harddrive.

See more of these after the jump.

You know when you get really drunk and high from huffing spray paint (gold) out of a paper bag (brown) and you and your friends come up with the most AMAZING idea? These are the greatest ideas, right? Right?

What do you think would happen if for some reason you had access to all the elements and ingredients to make your ideas reality... Yeah and your grandparents owned some sweatshops where 12-year-olds slaved away making socks for the British Premier League, so you have a big trust fund. Basically, you have infinite resources. What do you think would happen?

Yeah, besides the first ever monkey, marshmallow go-cart champion being crowned, (Mr. Chattlebanks), because that's awesome.

What would happen?

You would make some pretty awful stuff, stuff that would amaze people on one level and one level only. Yeah, the "why-the-F-did-this-ever-get-made-and-who-thought-that-this-was-a-good-idea-were-they-high-on-gold-spray-paint?" level. You got it!

Oh, you want an example of this kind of idea brought to fruition?

How about this video where an underage white girl runway model, Karlie Kloss, claims to be from St. Luis and then plays ping pong with Notorious Wally Green?

Did that illustrate my point? Did I have a point?

I guess my point is that money is no substitute for talent and true genius, and neither is gold... spray paint.

P.S. JD Ferguson directed the above video. Is he the greatest director of our time?

Disclaimer: I did no research whatsoever into how this video actually came about, and I know nothing about JD Ferguson.

I have no idea what Michael Jordan's been doing since he retired from basketball, but apparently he's been sucking at Twitter. Badly. Almost everyday. This peak inside his brain makes us believe that he might be the most boring super talented person in the world. He's defintely no Shaq, whose tweets routinely make us go lolwhut (lolwhu!?!). Here's a sample of the basketball legend's greatest non-hits:

Clearly, Michael Jordan is your 55-year-old mom with a huge crush on somebody.

This is the only he can say about the New Years? You ate too many shrimp. You're a legend and this is your only comment about NYE. Fantastic. At least we know we had a better NYE than somebody.

TWO HANDS TOGETHER, PEOPLE. LET'S CLAP IT UP. MICHAEL JORDAN DOES WHAT I DO EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT AFTER DRINKING A 24 PACK OF PABST.

Clearly, Gizmodo should hire this guy.

Ok, we have to hand it to MJ. This is a question worth asking. If you're 4-years-old. Or high. He was probably high.

If you'd like periodic updates from LG, you can follow us on Twitter @liquidgen. We promise to be just as boring as MJ and not spam you.

The level of drunk one can get in this game of chess is astounding. We don't know about the choice of Pabst, but whatever. Chess used to be the game for smart people, now it's a game for drunks and we 100% approve.

If there's one thing we love about Mariah Carey - wait. There's really nothing we love about Mariah Carey. Her voice is horrible these days and it looks as though she's slowly turning into a troll doll before our eyes. The only redeming quality about her is that she loves to get drunk during some awards ceremony that doesn't matter. We don't blame her. Check this out...

Since it's premiere, MTV's "Jersey Shore" has received a staggering amount of criticism from the New Jersey Italian American Legislative Council. Caucus Chairman Joseph "Joey Ravioli" Vitale said the "wildly offensive" show promotes derogatory ethnic stereotypes. And in a letter to Viacom, MTV's parent company, Joey Ravioli demanded that the show be cancelled, and in exchange, he would "send you's some meatballs and Grigio."

Perhaps he should have sent an oaky Chard, because "Jersey Shore" remains on the air. And personally, I think MTV has some freshly waxed balls for keeping Mike's freshly waxed situation around. But more importantly, in the hysteria surrounding the casts' love of offensively smearing ricotta on each other's wife beaters and then licking it off (rather, it should be licked off and then spit into an al dente shell), the media hasn't even bothered to report on the most positive aspect of the show:

The young women of the cast. 

For far too long, MTV reality series have focused on drunk, slutty women with perfectly-proportioned, unattainable body types, so it's nice to finally see MTV choosing drunk, slutty women with far sloppier body types easily attained by the second semester of freshmen year. The big-boned women, Angelina, Jenni "J-Woww", Nicole "Snooki", and Sammi "Sweetheart" clearly have healthy appetites and spend most of their time consuming New Jersey's four basic food groups: Everclear, cranberry juice, ice, and calzones.

And instead of obsessively exercising on the treadmill for hours at a time, these all-natural ladies are showing girls everywhere that there are far safer more interactive ways to burn those unwanted ice calories off. Like spending time in the Jacuzzi, for instance. Simultaneously chugging vodka, removing your bra, and manually stimulating a situation, all while sitting in oppressive heat, offer a superb cardio session. And though not scientifically proven, it may also help you take a punch.

So step off, detractors, and give this show the friggin' respect it deserves, and don't trim the fat.

(Note: While Prongs has never actually watched "Jersey Shore", she did grow up in New Jersey, so any assumptions made above are not assumptions, but actual fact. Peace & Meatballs, Audi 5000.)

(Be safe this New Year)

Things are going to be a little slow around here till the end of the New Year until we're done drinking and being annoyed by our families. So you might as well take a look through our archives, play some old games, watch some cartoons and generally reflect on the decade through what we made for you. We've covered it all -- Britney, Tom Cruise, Lindsay Lohan, Britney and Britney and Britney and Britney and Britney. Yes, we've basically just made from of Britney this decade. But it was fun!

We might periodically update the blog throughout the week if we run into anything exciting, so check back if you're bored or you've run out of alcohol!

We'd laugh harder at this girl but then we remember that we once got so drunk we almost fell into a firepit while camping. We'd rather crash through a window than fall into a fire.

Dear Helga,

I’ve always been fit, but recently, I’ve been stressed out and working a lot, and I’ve put on 10 pounds. I’m horrified by it, but my boyfriend says that he can’t tell the difference. I find that extremely hard to believe. Are guys really that nonchalant about weight?

Dear Tenner,

Of the few certainties in life, you can be certain of two things: 1.) men don’t fake orgasm – and 2.) are NOT nonchalant about YOUR weight.

Even though your BF may be carrying the last 50 beers he drank around his belly, your extra dime is a bigger crown of thorns for him than for you. But – he is wisely taking the passive approach – for now. He wants to see if you are really as horrified as you claim to be.

Get your tonnage back to the gym big-cheeks. You’re not following process. First you marry him and pop out 2.5 children THEN you can cut your hair, gain your weight, quit your job and whatever else you women do before settling on the couch for the next 30 years.  

Love,

Helga

Do you have a question that can only be answered by our uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual? Write to him/her: helga@helgasmailroom.com

Or Visit: http://www.helgasmailroom.com

Or, better yet, get bent.

Most weddings are boring. Not this one. This one is sexy and drunk and awesome.

Update: Some people at LG are saying this is fake. Even if, it's a big fail on both accounts.

Oh, damn. Hulk has a Twitter and he's been drinking (Jager? What exactly is Hulk's drink?). This is not going to end well. Someobody get MADD on the phone.

P.S. LiquidGeneration has a Twitter thang, too.

(via Bryan McKay)

Seriously, if your kid is just going to narc you out to their teacher, what good are they anyway? Kids are for tying your shoe laces, grabbing you a beer and that's about it. You shouldn't have to worry about them telling everyone they know that you earn money making it rain for perverts. LiquidGeneration's been making games and animations about boobs and Britney Spears' drunk butt for years, and our nephews still think we sell insurance. Seriously! Every time I come home for Christmas they never ask me how work's going because they feel sorry for me. Anyway, there's just some things your child shouldn't know and your stripper job is one of them. Also: never bring your work home with you.

(via Don Chavez)