American Apparel just ended their Best Bottom In The World contest; you can see the top three butts right here. There were over a thousand entries, and the winner will be flown to LA for a special photoshoot, but if their really lucky they'll probably be sexual harrassed by CEO Dov Charney (yippee!)!

This competition is a little crazy. I mean, forget about the Top 3 Best Butts...here are the Top 20. For the life of me I cannot figure out what is wrong with any of these or how one can be better than the other. They all look the same and by "same" I mean I would shoot a dozen puppies just to see them in person. Don't believe me? Just try it, ladies! Come to my office and see what will happen!

But what about the big time losers in this contest? Did anybody really submit a butt that wasn't attractive? I clicked my mouse over a hundred times to find out.

THE TOP 5 UGLIEST BUTTS IN THE WORLD

Now, there were a bunch of people with scores of zero. We're not going to count those because they probably entered the contest late and their butts are just too nice to be losers, so we suspect there is a glitch in The Matrix. We just took the lowest of the scores that weren't 0.0. Here's what we found.

5. Carlos. Score: 1.24

Why did they let dudes enter this contest? A major fail on the part of the organizers. Plus, his photo is in black & white. Fail on top of Fail.

4. Alisa. Score: 1.22

I'm not sure where the ass is on this lady, or if it's really a lady. It could be a dude like Carlos. I don't really want to investigate any further.

3. JL. Score: 1.21

Hairy legs! A Sure winner we tell you (maybe in Afghanistan)!

2. Shyla. Score: 1.19

Am I missing something? Where is this lady's butt? Did it fall off on her way to the meth lab? I really want to know as to avoid the town she live in.

And the #1 Ugliest Butt In The World....

1. Raggedy. Score: 1.17

There is no cottage cheese in this woman's butt. It's pure milkshake. 2%. And thank God she's wearing black underwear. We don't really want to know what's happening behind that bikini.

(via American Apparel's Best Bottom Contest)

When we first saw this picture of Mad Men star Christina Hendricks on the cover of New York magazine two things immediatly came to our mind: 1) This is the perfect women and 2) We will never have a shot at her because she obviously marries ugly douchebags, of which we are not because we were born with the handsome gene (this is a total lie. Everyone who works at LG is pretty much the ugliest person on the planet and if one of us were to come face to face with Mrs. Booby Hendricks, she would surely vomit into our mouths.).

And this is who's banging/married to Christina. I know! He's some actor I guess, and not even a famous one! His name is Geoffrey Arend and he looks sickly, like he might die at any minute.

Meme Alert! Snooki is everwhere! Somebody shoot her before she touches your backside and gives you the cooties! This site has a collection of all these photoshops if you're too lazy to make your own.

Hello. My name is David Portado and I'm in love with Snooki. I'm also one of the illustrators at LiquidGeneration. Excuse how illiterate I am.

Early on in The Jersey Shore, we found out that none of the Shore girls were shy, especially my favorite 4 foot 9 inches guidette Snooki, who tried to hook up with every guy on the show. Yesterday RadarOnline.com reported that there may be a Snooki Sex Tape or nude pictures on the loose. Thankfully!  However, Snooki took to Twitter to deny the pics and vid exist: "Like i said before about my supposed 'sex tape'...There are no nude pictures nor will there ever be. the tabloids just love snook gossip ;]"

MTV just gave the boobalicious cart-wheel-showing vagigi and the rest of the Jersey Shore crew members a new season, with 12 new episodes to shoot in the winter which will air sometime this summer. So get ready for more fist pumping, sex, and drunken bar fights! The whereabouts to where they're going to tape it is still unknown, but I'm sure it's going to be someplace warm like LA so I can molest Snooki.

The cast of Jersey shore is here in LA taping the Leno and Ellen show so we have set up a trap to capture her and tape her sucking her favorite thing, a big fat juicy pickle!

Now that's a snookuation!

Stay tune in case we end up capturing her. In the mean time, you can find out How Jersey Shore Are You? by taking the quiz.

So you've finally seen the iPad and made a tampon joke or two about it. But if my gut is telling the truth, then we're all going to be dead when the people at Apple Corporate murder us with their lazer beam eyes. Seriously! Have you checked out that iPad video yet? Here are some stills:

Senior Vice President of Industrial Design Jonathan Ive is responsible for make the things at Apple pretty. However, his eyes can see through your underpants and shoot amazingly designed lazer beams at your face, so watch out.

After he's done eating all the meat on your bones, SVP of Hardware Bob Mansfield, will kidnap your 13-year-old nephew and try to play video games with him. Or he might appear in Crimson Tide 2 - SERIOUSLY GUYS, DOESN'T HE LOOK LIKE THAT ONE GUY? JUST A LITTLE BIT?

Scott Forstall, SVP of iPhone Software, will stare at you from across the room until you're completely naked. I kid you not. He will not leave until then.

Okay, stop looking at them. You know what I'm talking about. This is getting a little childish right now.

Less than 5 pages into the magazine I came across this article about Serena Williams' recent tennis win against Mother Nature (must be Mick Foley's cousin).  Apparently, Serena shut Mother Nature out in straight sets, proving not only herself as THE dominant force in women's tennis, but also showing great ethical fortitude, as apparently Mother Nature has been trying to bribe her by sending her a gift every month.

Doctor: So, what are you here for?

Wife: I've been very emotional lately.

Doctor: Really. Give me an example?

Wife: Well, I was watching Star Wars --

Doctor: Okay, here's a gun. Take it home and shoot yourself in the morning.

What's with courgars these days? They're either screaming out of your TV box or they're looking like complete idiots on the dance floor. And yes, but "idiots" we mean Katie Couric, and by "Katie Couric" we mean "why the hell are we partly turned on by these photos?" With the way our tongue is on the floor right now, you'd think every 70-year-old woman who drops her cootchie on the dance floor like this turns us on, but no. Just Katie Couric. We only have eyes for Katie Couric and those gams. THOSE GAMS. 

We're gonna go shoot ourselves in the head right now, or you can do that for us. Whatevs.

She's coming for you. Run.

And here's the cootchie drop. Oh lawd.

Yeah, that's the face. It totally doesn't scream "I'M WASTED 4 DAYZZZZ" or anything. No, not at all.

Click here to see the rest of the photos.

After hearing about a new movie called Twilight: New Moon and that it's kind of a big deal, LiquidGeneration contacted the nearest middle school to see if anyone was interested in writing a review of the movie for us. This is the review we received.

OHHH MY GAWWWWD YOU GUYS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I SAW EDWARD CULLEN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I CAN TOTALLY DIE NOW. I PRAY THAT HE COMES TO MY SCHOOL AND SWEEPS ME OFF MY FEET AND ME AND HIM CAN RUN AWAY AFTER HE MURDERS BELLA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AND THEN WE KISS DURING STUDY HALL THEN WE HAVE SO MANY BABIES OMG THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOOOOD.

SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY EYES OPEN RIGHT NOW ME AND MY FRO9ENDS WENT TO THE MIDNIGHT SCREENING AND WE ATE POPCORN BUT NOT MY FAT FRIEND ANGELA SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A DIET BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GOOD FOR JACOB!!!@!!!! LIKE REALLY, ANGELA, JACOB DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST YOU WERE A FANNY PACK TO SCHOOL AND YOUR FAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE INTO YOU. MAYBE ONE OF THE GUYS FROM HARRY POTTER LIKE THAT FIRE CROTCH KID, BUT NOT JACOB. JACOB IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ANGELA AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT BUT I'M SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT BUT IT WAS SO NICE SEEING THE MOVIE WITH A BFF JUST LIKE YOU.

SPEAKING OF!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE JACOB IS GOING OUT WITH THAT GAWKY SQUINTY FISH FACE TAYLOR SWIFT. WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS ANYWAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS JACOB IS JUST USING HER FOR SEX EWEWWWWW. SHE'S SUCH A DIRTY SKANK IF SHE WAS IN MY CLASS I BET SH'E GIVE  EVERYBODY AIDS WITH HER EYES. I H8 U TAYLOR DON'T COME NEAR ME!!!!!!

!!@!!@W!@!!@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY THING I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IN THIS MOVIE IS BELLA. I'M SORRY SHE'S JUST SOOOOO STUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND SHE BITES HER LIP WHAT'S ON THERE ANYWAY? DO HER LIPS TASTE LIKE LICORICE OR SOMETHING OR IS SHE TRYING TO EAT A ZIT OFF THEM I BET IT'S THE ZIT. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A GOOD PERSON FOR EDWARD HER FACE LOOKS LIKE A TROLL. WHAT DOES HE EVEN SEE HER IN HER? I REALLY HOPE SHE DIES EVENTUALLY BECAUSE EDWARD DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER DON'T YOUTHINK? I MEAN, I'M SORRY IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME AMAZINGH PERSON WHO CAN COOL AND WILL CLEAN FOR HIM AND GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS LIKE I WOULD. I WOULD TOTALLY ROCK HIS WORLD IF HE MET ME I JUST KNOW IT...JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE EDWORD YOU KNOW YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVAHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TILL PARTY 3 COMES OUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!

LOVE YOU.

This girl has an amazing talent that she's been working on since she shot out of her mother's womb. She can sneeze like there's no tomorrow. We totally wish we could do this so people wouldn't sit next to us on the airplane.

What the hell did this kid do in his past that warrants him being on an subway advertsment for losers?

Is he an alcoholic? Heroin Addict? Did he accidently shoot his pet dog? Did he push his grandma down the stairs? Hopefully he just murdered one of his Pokemon action figures or peed in his pants, because damn, this is just pretty sad all around.

(via Jennifer Favorite's Twitpic)

The girl that Mr. Belding totally wanted to bang, but couldn't because of legal (and grossness) reasons, is pregnant.

This got us thinking: What would Tiffany Theissen's child look like if she made it with the Saved By The Bell cast members? Well, we ran the sperm of Zack, Slater, Screech and yes, Mr. Belding, through a BabyMaker app on the Knocked Up movie's website (science!) and it came up with the results below. We can only speculate that if any of these babies were to shoot out of Kelly Kopowski's crotch the doctor would most likely toss it into a trash bin. Or she will. Or we will. Who knows? These babies are pretty fricking 'tardy for the party (if you know what I'm saying).

Excuse the dust around here, and all the little bugs and mispellings you're bound to find on our little corner on the internet. We're going to try something a little different today.

As part of President Obama's push to make more American teens read, he personally reached out to LiquidGeneration* to provide some word-based entertainment for you. Sure, you'll still see our award winning** animations and games, but you'll also see Words. Lots of them, as ordered by the Commander In Chief of the United States of America. So if you don't like it, don't be mad because we'll just ask Obama to bomb you. For the children. Because he wants them to learn how to read, through us.

Thank you for reading,

LiquidGeneration

P.S. - If you see anything you love or hate, we'd like to know about it. Just leave a comment below, or if you really want to make me upset and cry like a little girl, just shoot me a personal email: slippy@liquidgeneration.com.

*no he didn't

**Awards, as in the cookies our mothers give us each time we make fun of Lindsay Lohan. They hate her because she's one of those "fast girls." Their words.

Ladies and Gentleman, because we're a bit retarded and love a good throwback to the days when creating games that inflicted imaginary harm upon celebrities were not only frowned upon, BUT ALSO CELEBRATED (!), we have for you: Kill The Kardashians. For those of you who believe that this game is crass, wrong, disgusting and morally reprehensible: you are right. But you're also wrong, because we have no doubt - none in the world! - that you also believe Sponge Bob Square Pants is the reason your child is gay. Or something like that. Now to the offended, get back to work. For those of you who want to waste a little more of your company's time playing a fun game insteading of browsing Craigslist for bodies you can kidnap and keep in your closet, enjoy.

Play the game.

P.S. And yes, we still believe Kim Kardashian is one of the hottest woman in the world.