Nine days and nine hours from the time that I am writing this, Meat Week 2010 will begin.

What is Meat Week? Well, it is a week (technically 8 days) of eating BBQ. Sounds delicious right?

Meat is delicious, and at it's core, Meat Week is a pure and innocent celebration of slow cooked animal flesh, but I must warn you, before you run headlong into Meat Week be sure you know what you are in for. Things are not always Sonny's in the Meat Week universe.

Just like joining Skull & Bones (all my information about Skull & Bones is from the movie staring Joshua Jackson and Craig T. Nelson), there is a dark and shady undercurrent, darker than a good ketchup based BBQ sauce. By participating in Meat Week, you are joining a club, a secret sauce society. You may as well be joining the Meat & Bones.

I can't say much more without risking my own life, but just consider yourself warned. Beyond the obvious dangers of cholesterol intake... there is... I best say no more. Not a word. Not a peep. Not an utterance more against Meat Week.

Pictured here: Founders of Meat Week, Erni Walker and Chris Cantey

A few months ago, I started doing a thing called Taste Test Tuesday. Every Tuesday, I try to taste some sort of  new and different restaurant or food. I showed, but didn't taste this candy, Juicy Drop Pop, in one of my latest videos.

Though most people didn't think twice about Juicy Drop Pop, one of my friends did some deeper digging, and using "Sight Beyond Sight" a.k.a. Google, she found a website for this candy.

This website features a commercial for Juicy Drop Pop that is well... see what Media Bites had to say in the most academic terms.

They tiptoe around this in the Media Bites breakdown of the spot, but I can only describe the commercial that they have up on the Juicy Drop Pop website as CANDY PORN. They even call it "Hardcore Candy," and don't even get me started on the Ed Hardy tramp-stamp tribal tattoo designs blanketing the website.

It's been a long time since I have seen something that made me feel so dirty... and if you know anything about me, you know that, that is saying a lot!

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

Dear Helga,

I’ve always been fit, but recently, I’ve been stressed out and working a lot, and I’ve put on 10 pounds. I’m horrified by it, but my boyfriend says that he can’t tell the difference. I find that extremely hard to believe. Are guys really that nonchalant about weight?

Dear Tenner,

Of the few certainties in life, you can be certain of two things: 1.) men don’t fake orgasm – and 2.) are NOT nonchalant about YOUR weight.

Even though your BF may be carrying the last 50 beers he drank around his belly, your extra dime is a bigger crown of thorns for him than for you. But – he is wisely taking the passive approach – for now. He wants to see if you are really as horrified as you claim to be.

Get your tonnage back to the gym big-cheeks. You’re not following process. First you marry him and pop out 2.5 children THEN you can cut your hair, gain your weight, quit your job and whatever else you women do before settling on the couch for the next 30 years.  

Love,

Helga

Do you have a question that can only be answered by our uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual? Write to him/her: helga@helgasmailroom.com

Or Visit: http://www.helgasmailroom.com

Or, better yet, get bent.

[Click me if you want to be annoyed in way you've never thought possible AND NOT if you're epileptic, pls]