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I am Chuck McCarthy or Charles McCarthy.
There are lots of Chuck McCarthy's in the world, but one in particular really has me in a fighting mood. What Chuck? The retired MMA fighter Charles/Chuck "Chainsaw" McCarthy.

Sure, I dominate Google searches for "Chuck McCarthy" but if you search "Charles McCarthy" this joker's Wikipedia entry is the first listing to come up. This pisses me off for a few reasons. One, I have probably played a more important role in the history of MMA in the United States than him (I refuse to back this statement up with any facts). Two, I don't have a Wikipedia entry. I've been on TV, on the radio, in magazines, and I've definitely been on the Internet... a LOT. Three, I am bigger and proabably tougher than this... this "Chainsaw." Four, where is my cool nickname? Don't I deserve a cool nickname? Haven't I at least earned that?
What am I going to do?
I can't fight Wikipedia. I can't fight Google. Well, I could, but not with my fists... and I don't think winning either of these fights would garner me a tough guy nickname like "Chainsaw."
What am I going to do?
An open letter to Charles "Chainsaw" McCarthy:
Dear Charles,
Charles "Chainsaw" McCarthy! I'm calling you out! I dare you to come out of retirement for one last fight against me for the rights to your Wikipedia entry, Google listing dominance, and nickname!
Obviously we will both need to get back in shape and train for a couple of months. I will probably try to get Forest Griffin to train me. I guess you can train with your old trainer, or maybe Mr. T can train you.
Our training could be covered like the HBO series 24/7 - Chuck vs. Chuck 24/7. People are going to get pumped over our grudge match, especially Conan O'Brien, Notre Dame fans, Chuck Norris fans, and fans of NBC's Chuck.
So you aren't in the fighting mood anymore, but come on Chuck, are you really happy sitting at home in Florida, playing C.O.D. and getting BJs from your 19 year old stripper girlfriend? There has to be more to life than that... Don't get me wrong, that does sound pretty good, but don't tell me you don't miss the thrill of the fight. Yeah, I know she probably does it while you are playing and talking smack on your "headset" to Kimbo Slice about "head shots", but doesn't the OCTAGON call to you still?
One more fight... come on girly boy.
Sincerely,

Chuck "Soon to be Chainsaw" McCarthy
P.S. We shouldn't let the fact that we both look great with our shirts off go to waste.
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!
We can all agree that punching a girl in the face is totally unacceptable. But what if that girl was excruciatingly annoying, gave birth to Dr. Phil and her name was Oprah? Would it be okay then? No, it wouldn't be. But after watching this video of Oprah screaming celebrity names for 25 years, we'd totally understand how somebody would want to kick the living crap out of their Oprah-playing television sets and then throw themselves off the nearest building, killing themselves and hopefully anyone else who saw this thing. Seriously, it's painful. It makes us think that anybody who's watched The Oprah Show for the last 25 years must be devoid of any form of sound judgement, or at least that part of the brain that makes you go, "Oh, CRAZY TRAIN ALERT! **CLICK** It's Maury Povich time."
Today it's Point A Gun At Something Adorable Friday, featuring puppies and kitties (or kittehs, for the annoying people who come here). Why do people want to put a gun to faces of their little furry friends? We can only speculate it has something to do with imbreeding. But we're not scientists, so how the hell would we know.

A young a-hole in training. (via hangglide)

Why do parents buy Crocs for their kids? And why doesn't this dog bite off that little brat's head? (via ChickClick)

Crazy eyes and rape face are usually the same thing. (via randy metcalf)
...more pics after the jump....

Dude kind of looks like Vince Vaugh's tardy brother. (via castermer)

"Deaadd kittteehhhhhh" (via sayzey)

At least the blood will look cool on the window. RIGHT, GUYS!?!?! (via misterentropy)
Point a gun at anything adorable lately? Be sure to send us a picture: talkbalk@liquidgeneration.com!
Kids: Don't try this at home. You will die. This kid didn't die because he's super skinny. Most of you are fat.
We never thought we'd see anything more perverted than a Japanese businessman, but here we are!
If the people that worked at Wendy's really were this cool than we'd have no problem eating their for the rest of our lives.
Honda, they can make robots with classical music training and cars for douchebags to modify.
In theaters 3-28-08. "21" is the fact-based story about six MIT students who were trained to become experts in card counting and subsequently took Vegas casinos for millions in winnings.
K-Fed is a trained method actor who draws on his experiences of putting Britney down.
In 2023 we'll hopefully be celebrating the 25th anniversy of "...Baby One More Time" by performing in flying saucers on Mars.
A woman gave birth in a train toilet in China and the baby got lodged in the pipe. She later said " I just thought I had to poop"… China…
In theaters 3-28-08. A young man finds out his long lost father is an assassin. And when his father is murdered, the son is recruited into his father's old organization and trained by a man named Sloan to follow in his dad's footsteps.
Alabama and Georgia were in overtime of a college football game and Mike Patrick asked "What is britney doing with her life?". For shame ESPN, thats our job.
Seriously? Where in the world is this a problem? Please tell us, we would like to know when traveling, which public transit network to avoid. Another thing… why are the other passengers just sitting there?
I love the Simpsons Avatar creator, and when I noticed the Dolly Parton hairdo I thought immediately of my favorite train wreck – Amy Winehouse!
Clever kids build a loop-de-loop on a train track... and it works! Of course they aren't American :(
The Long Island Firecrotch got an early start on the glamorous alcoholism train. I hope those cosmos are virgin!!
When the battle is done, Rory Lake is going to make love to you. From the Rory IV Battle of the Bands competition.